2025 in Review — My Year of Peak Delusion
I Did Many Things. I Also Suffered.
If you’ve been watching me from a distance this year, you’d think my life is one long highlight reel.
Small announcements here. Big “we launched” there. Random screenshots of progress. A sprinkle of “you’re winning always” from my people (love you, honestly). And from the outside, it does look like I’m always doing something.
But: it didn’t feel like winning to me.
It felt like surviving. Sometimes stylishly. Sometimes with eye bags that deserved their own passport photo.
So let me tell you what my 2025 actually looked like.
The Part where I Almost Died
I haven’t written a blog in over a month because, no exaggeration, I almost died.
Okay, "died" is dramatic.
But I genuinely don't know how else to describe running on an average of no sleep every night for an entire year. Yes, I track it. Yes, the Oura ring on my finger judges me constantly. Yes, I've made peace with being medically inadvisable.
Why? … I blame my PhD Research.
Because, well, it turns out the “PhD journey” part involves actual work. Shocking revelation, I know. This semester I had to progress my actual PhD research to 9 course credit units of literature review, multi-physics modeling, tri-hybrid renewable energy systems, green hydrogen economics, and other phrases that sound impressive until you realize it just means reading 60+ papers weekly and crying into my coffee.
The literature review alone required building a comprehensive framework covering thermodynamic, electrochemical, and electrical domains because the sun, in its infinite wisdom, refuses to shine 24 hours a day. (…The audacity).
What they don’t tell you about research is that it can kill you. Not metaphorically. Literally. I am convinced my survival to this point is a statistical anomaly. A miracle. An edge case that would be excluded from any reasonable dataset for being an outlier.
Still, we moved. Somehow. I got a “satisfactory progress.” (The academic equivalent of "we're not expelling you yet”.)
Yayyyyy. (Please clap. Or at least send electrolytes.)
The Semester That Tried Me
Then there was System Dynamics Course.
If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ll remember my last post was about systems thinking; how feedback loops work, why shipping fast matters, why perfectionism is a trap.
And then I immediately ignored all my own advice.
I took the Systems Dynamics course because I thought, “Hey, this would be interesting to apply to my tri-hybrid energy research.” Simple enough. Just model the capacity factor-cost-competitiveness feedback loops. Identify the reinforcing mechanisms. Maybe 4 stocks, some flows, nothing crazy.
Three weeks allocated. Normal humans would pace themselves. I, unfortunately, am not a normal human (even starting to doubt the human part). I submitted 24 hours after the deadline… after reaching Version 32.
Version. Thirty. Two.
Because version 31 didn’t work the way I thought it would, and version 30 had a circular reference I was hiding with the simulation equivalent of IFERROR, and versions 1 through 29 are best left unexamined.
I ended up with way more variables than anticipated. Four primary stocks. Fifty-five auxiliaries. Fifteen reinforcing loops. Twelve balancing loops. Eight critical time delays. The model grew like a well-fed monster. Every time I thought I was done, I’d find another feedback mechanism that needed explicit closure.
And because the universe loves comedy, I also had to do a video presentation. I submitted the wrong one (naturally). The instructor asked me to correct it. I then submitted two versions: a 30-minute one and a 10-minute one, because if you’re already drowning, you might as well practice swimming too.
Imagine my genuine surprise when I scored 100% on the capstone.
Not 100% like “good job.”
100% like “excuse me?? are you sure?? did you mark somebody else???”
Professor Scott left this comment:
I stared at that message for a solid five minutes trying to find the part where it said “but actually...”
And just like that, the semester ended with an A+, a perfect 4.0 GPA for the semester, and a cumulative perfect 4.0 after four semesters of my PhD.
Honestly? I’m grateful. Because there were many moments this year where my only plan was: don’t embarrass yourself, don’t collapse, and please submit something before your laptop crashes.
MBA: Where 94% score Can Still Humble You
On the MBA front… lol.
I got a 94% total score and it still landed me in A- territory after curving because apparently I’m studying with some of the best brains on earth and they wake up solving risk models for fun.
Disappointing? A little. (just kidding… I created craters in a wall with my fist)
Educational? Absolutely.
I learned more about Risk and Risk Management this semester than I even knew existed. Like, I used to think risk was just “what can go wrong.” Now I know it’s also “what will go wrong, how fast, who will blame you, and what governance framework will pretend they didn’t see it coming.”
Also: I learned Miro. Surprisingly good tool. Might actually outlive half the productivity apps people tweet about. (Apple Notes and Notion, I still love you, don’t be jealous.)
I also now have a Thirty Paper Problem
Here’s a fun fact: my PhD literature review identified only 67 papers that address tri-hybrid renewable energy systems.
Sixty-seven. For an entire field.
Fewer than 10% of existing studies address tri-hybrid configurations that include biomass as a dispatchable component. System dynamics methodology has barely been applied to renewable energy systems. The gap between theoretical control development and industrial validation remains massive.
So what do you do when your topic is so underexplored that the literature barely exists?
You write the literature yourself.
Current count of papers I need to write to fully capture my PhD work: 30.
Everyone who hears this number tells me it’s too much. “That’s unrealistic.” “You’re setting yourself up for failure.” “Nobody writes 30 papers.”
Maybe. But also, someone has to fill this gap. Someone has to write the comprehensive multi-physics framework. Someone has to apply systems dynamics to tri-hybrid systems. Someone has to bridge the macro-level feedback behaviors with micro-level physics.
Might as well be me.
(Famous last words, probably.)
So yes. Thirty.
I’m not okay. But I’m consistent.
Movies: I Launched, I Released
This year I launched my movie company and released an actual movie.
I still can’t fully process this. A legitimate film. That people watched. That made money.
It was entirely bootstrapped—no external funding, just managed resources and a team willing to believe in a slightly insane vision. We released it, and it returned 2X the total production cost from YouTube alone.
Then a major network picked it up for 1X of the total production cost per year.
I’m disappointed I could only do one this year. There were plans for more. But when you’re running on no sleep, some things have to give. The fact that anything got made at all feels like a minor miracle.
For next year, I’m looking at Nigerian vertical movies—those serialized shorts you see on TikTok and Instagram, similar to the Chinese ones that have blown up. The format is perfect for mobile-first audiences. The production requirements are manageable. The potential reach is enormous.
We’ll see. We’ll see.
HO3 Media: Views Up, Losses Also Up
Startup front: HO3 Media (my media production company) did really well.
Still running at insane losses (we are allergic to profit right now), but we hit 12 million views on our flagship WHOTPodcast in less than five months.
That’s not small. That’s a real audience. That’s real momentum. I’m insanely grateful to my partners and colleagues who pulled this off. Next year, we’re going harder; with better strategy, better structure, and less “let’s just vibe and pray.”
The media landscape in Africa is shifting. The appetite for local content is growing. The infrastructure to distribute is finally maturing. If we can catch the right loops early enough, if we can establish the right feedback mechanisms...
You know. Ship fast. Start the loop. Enjoy the process.
The $200K I Turned Down (Yes, I Know)
Well, I’m building it. Have been for about four years now.
I pitched my EnergyOS startup and got a $200k pre-seed investment offer.
And my perfectionist self turned it down to “perfect the product.”
Yes. I know.
Yes. You can insult me.
Maybe I'm being stupid. Probably I'm being stupid.
But also… I’ve been building this for almost four years, and I genuinely feel like I’m getting close. Hopefully 2026 provides more push, steer, and inspiration.
That whole internal argument is exactly why I wrote my last blog: “Ship Fast, Think Slow — Why perfection is a bad system design choice.” I was talking to myself, honestly. I hope I listened.
Also, a big win: a startup doing amazing work in energytech raised $100k at Antler and asked me to formally join as an advisor.
Small me? Eeeeehhhh.
Adult me? Trying to act like it’s normal.
It’s not normal. I’m grateful.
Music: Bad Choices (Good Outcome)
On the music front, we released “Bad Choices” with Imelda IDK and the feedback has been incredible. I genuinely think she’s one of the next biggest stars out of Africa.
Big gratitude to the team making bangers this year: Kemmie, Teeti, Holtie Drizzy, Ola Bonny Teezy, Soey… and more. So much talent around me, it’s actually embarrassing when I procrastinate.
Also, I made a music album.
Yes, me. An album. you can prelisten below (for sometime, will take it down in a few days)
https://untitled.stream/library/project/oUGtkGjJjFWWxZPsBd9tW
I am not claiming it's good. I am claiming it exists. Those are different things.
Travel: Airports Raised Me
I slept in airports too much this year. At this point, I have maybe two pages of free space left in my passport.
Thankfully Nigeria and the UK no longer stamp passports consistently, so my document has a little breathing room. which buys me some time before I have to deal with the bureaucratic nightmare of renewal.
The airport floors know me. I know them. We have an understanding.
Money: A Stunning $50
Now, let’s address the financial elephant.
How much personal revenue + salaries + income did I make this year?
$50.
Yes. Fifty dollars. Not fifty thousand. Not “in revenue but cashflow negative.” Just… fifty.
Everything else I lived on was a loan. So financially, this year was not “soft life.” It was “hard life with Wi-Fi.”
But I’m grateful I had the opportunity to exert myself fully—creatively, intellectually, professionally. My mantra this year was simple:
You can do stuffs. Literally anything.
And I wanted to test the limits of that belief.
The Part People Don’t See
I failed a lot this year. Lost opportunities. Made mistakes. Fumbled things I should have handled better. Dealt with health struggles and mental doubts.
Sleep was the biggest enemy. Thanks to my Oura ring (which is now basically married to my finger), I can track it: I averaged 3 hours 50 minutes of sleep daily this year.
This is not ideal. I know this is not ideal. My body knows this is not ideal. Every medical guideline ever written knows this is not ideal.
But here we are.
Next Year: Communication, Not Disappearing
One thing I must do better next year: communication.
I ghosted too many people this year.
Friends. Colleagues. Potential collaborators. People who reached out with genuine interest. People who deserved responses.
Not because I don’t care… but because I got overwhelmed and went into “silent mode,” and somehow convinced myself that letting people misunderstand me was an acceptable tax.
In my head, I rationalized it. If they paint me as the bad person, if they make me responsible for the relationship failing, that’s fair to them. Let them have their narrative. Let them make sense of my weird behavior however they need to. Better they think I’m terrible than feel obligated to accommodate someone who can’t maintain basic communication.
This is, obviously, not healthy logic.
It’s not fair to them. And honestly, it’s not healthy for me either.
So next year: I’ll try to be more human about it. Even a simple “I’m overloaded, I’ll be back” can save relationships and reduce unnecessary pain.
I hope I do better next year. But I’m not making promises I can’t keep.
The Part Where I Acknowledge My People
I need to acknowledge two people who really helped me achieve so much this year: Temiloluwa Fadare (née Okunade) and Stephen Ilori.
Chief of staff energy. Made impossible things possible. Held the chaos together when I was too scattered to do it myself. I genuinely don’t know how any of this happens without people willing to extend grace to someone running on fumes and stubbornness.
Thank you.
The Mental Resilience Surprise
Here’s the thing that surprised me most this year: I have no bad days.
I don’t mean that in a toxic positivity way. I mean it literally. With everything that happened—the failures, the missed opportunities, the mistakes, the health struggles, the mental doubts, the constant exhaustion—every single day, I was able to say “we go again.”
It’s not easy. It is absolutely not easy. But somehow, the mental resilience held.
I failed like mad this year. Failed a lot. Messed up a lot. If I gave up, it would have been very justified from a purely rational assessment of my circumstances. That’s not a dark joke; that’s just honest acknowledgment of how many things went wrong.
But every single morning, I woke up and decided: we go again.
I don’t know where that comes from. I don’t know why the reset button works. But I’m grateful it does.
Final Score: C-, But We Go Again
All in all?
A solid C- year.
But we go again as long as life persists. If I’m alive, I’ll keep learning and making stuff—whether it works, whether it sells, whether it’s worth it, whether it’s successful. I just want to build, create, test, and improve.
I’m grateful to everyone who gave me grace this year. I know I’m not perfect (nowhere close). Thank you for seeing beyond my rough edges and still finding something valuable in me.
I don't know what or why, but I sha trust your judgment that I may not exactly be a lost case.
So yeah. That’s my year (the parts I remember and the parts I’m willing to share).
Happy holidays.
Rest well.
And if you’re also tired: you’re not lazy. You’re human.
See you in 2026.
We go again.
P.S. The ironic thing about writing a year-end reflection on doing too much is that this post is now 3,000+ words long. Clearly the problem is unfixable.
P.P.S. I am writing this at 4 AM because, as established, sleep and I have a complicated relationship. My Oura ring is absolutely judging me right now. Its little red notification is basically screaming “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.”
P.P.P.S. If you’re one of the people I ghosted this year: I’m sorry. It wasn’t about you. It was about my inability to function as a normal human while doing seventeen things simultaneously. You deserved better. I’ll try to do better. (This is the closest to a mass apology I can manage. Consider it a starting point.)
P.P.P.P.S. To everyone who DMed, emailed, or casually asked if I abandoned the blog: Thank you. You’re part of the feedback system keeping this thing alive. The loop continues because of you.
P.P.P.P.P.S. There are so many things I’m leaving out of this recap, both intentionally and unintentionally (I forgot). But this is already unwieldy to read. So I’ll stop here. Probably.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I lied. One more thing: if you’re reading this and you’re also running on fumes and chaos and pure stubbornness, just know—you’re not alone. The highlight reels lie. Everyone’s figuring it out as they go. The wins are real, but so are the disasters. That’s just how the system works.
Okay. Now I’m done.
For real this time.
We go again.
Kaykluz! Energy King. Thanks for this year and thank for writing on here.
We go harder in 2026!